Boo

Go Go Jason Waterfalls!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Spider-Man, Spider-Man...

As a child, I would often become delirious when I had a fever, always while I was in bed for the night. The first time I experienced it, I was terrified because the giant robot spiders (from the episode of the original Spider-Man cartoon I had watched that day) were going to zap my mother.

Along with the dream sequences, my delirium usually included 3 uncomfortable sensations. First, there was the feeling of having a balloon in my throat (kind of like the piece of rubber stretched over your mouth when getting a filling at the dentist), choking me. Second, there was the sensation of wrapping myself around a sharp, thin wire (~1mm diameter), which at the same time was a concrete pillar (~2ft diameter). I don't know how else to put it. Third, there was always some task I had to do which would spin out of control. For example, I would have to sort or pack a bunch of balls, which kept multiplying and multiplying, making me despair that I would never finish the job. Sometimes there was just one ball (they were always yellow) which continued to expand, becoming bigger than the planet, the galaxy, even. Terrifying. These three sensations always felt as if they were building up, threatening to engulf me (how I feel sometimes when I have bad anxiety).

I haven't been delirious in years. In my teens, however, I began experiencing those sensations outside of the delirium. I could even feel them in various body parts, like my arm would be choking on a balloon. This is basically impossible to tell anyone without them thinking me mad (they may be right). It still happens to me, every once in a while.

Twice this past week, while trying to sleep I got the wire/concrete thing. It started in my torso, migrating then to my legs. The same engulfing panic ensued and I had to get up and do something to distract the feeling away.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

What. Are. You? I'm a Vampire!

Last week's episode of the Vampire Diaries introduced a new character, Slater, who is very much like how I would be if I was a vampire. He has been going to college continuously since he was sired in 1974, racking up a huge number of BA's, MA's and PhD's.

I want to mention how great this show is. Aside from the teen drama and formula of 'human girl falls for vamp' which is, unfortunately, so common (why can't the human ever be male?), it's a bloody fun time. Full of eyes being gouged out, fingers being chopped off, and hearts being ripped out (literally and figuratively). The vampires are ferociously strong, do not sparkle in sunlight, and get all veiny and black-eyed when angry. Plus, Ian Somerhalder is just perfect.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Vampires do Look Sparkly When I Have a Migraine

This evening, while watching Rome, I experienced scintillating scotoma (aura migraine). It happens every so often, usually without the headache which can follow it. The strange thing about this time was that as soon as it had receded, another one started up! Even stranger, this second aura abruptly ended, instead of diminishing over time. It was somewhat startling.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know(ledge)

It has been an interesting two weeks. Last week, my (wretched) psychiatrist put me on Zeldox, a relatively new anti-psychotic. After only two doses I began experiencing side effects: uncontrollable shaking, itches like bugs crawling on me in various spots, weak legs, and a horrible feeling of phlegm in my throat which I could not expel. After a trip to Emergency on Thursday, stopping the drug, and being put on Ativan for a couple days to ease the symptoms, I am mostly better, though the phlegm thing persisted and is only fading now.

This week was my first back at school in 9 months, and high school, no less. I've been going to St. Louis Adult Learning Centre. I need 4 grade 11 and 12 courses as prerequisites to begin majoring in geology (I can no longer deal with the open-endedness of history papers). Being surrounded by so many people again has been quite stressful, and it certainly does not help that most of them are teenagers.

Yesterday, a madman (who seems to have been expelled from the school) came into our class, waving gigantic signs and rambling about soldiers dying for our rights, mental illness, and dancing...He was shooed out by the teacher and minutes later an announcement was made for everyone to get to their classes and lock the door. The police hauled him away and classes resumed shortly afterwards. He was there again today, outside the building. He didn't get in, and I believe the police dragged him away again.