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Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Persistence of My Memory

My memory has always been a source of pride. I've always been able to recall vast amounts of (mostly useless) information. It stretches far into the past, and encompasses all the senses. I can remember things like everyone I've ever had a crush on, conversations I had years ago, where/how I learned a particular word, and many scenes from my early childhood. My earliest memory is of having my picture taken by a professional photographer. I was 2 and a half months old.

One of the things which makes me most proud is from when I was in YAP. For my psychological evaluation, one section required me to briefly study a key of symbols, each assigned a number. I then had to write the corresponding number under each symbol, doing this for as many symbols on the page within a time limit. Kathy Lawrence, who administered the evaluation, said she'd never seen anyone complete that much of the sheet.

My memory has been failing me lately, however. I've been forgetting things. I asked a friend if he had moved into a new apartment yet, completely forgetting that he had already told me he did a month or two before, even showed my where it was on a map. I had been going through my Magic: The Gathering cards, and realized that I was missing a large number. I no longer had a few of the cards I used to great success against my opponents. The more I looked into this, the more I noticed what was missing. I used to have an entire artifact-themed deck, most of which is just...gone. I'm sure it's possible that I tried to sell a number of cards, after I had to stop playing because I became obsessed with it. I should remember having done this, though.

This is very troubling for me. It scares me, losing my greatest asset.

The other night, Mom told me that we had once been in one of those old-fashioned elevators with the grates you close before ascending/descending. I should remember something like this. Her mention of it didn't even trigger the memory that should be there; I'm taking her word for it.

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